Pastors Who Lose Their Faith

Date Published: 11/12/2010

The ABC evening news had a piece this week on pastors who have lost their faith but keep it a secret and continue to serve their congregations. The pastors who were interviewed were treated sympathetically, and the feature did not delve much into the nature of their doubts but focused on the tension of the incongruity of pretending to believe in public what has been lost in private.

I am not only certain that many pastors go through dark doubts, but I would actually be a little suspicious of a pastor who did not wrestle seriously with doubt. I remember reading a story about a pastor who resigned because of his doubts, and the congregation told him to preach his doubts. Their acceptance opened the door to their pastor’s recovery of faith, and I’m sure deepened not only their faith but their respect for their pastor. I can’t remember for sure where I read it, but James F. McGrath tells it on his blog. (http://exploringourmatrix.blogspot.com/2009/08/preach-your-doubts.html)

On thing that struck me about the pastors in the ABC news feature was how isolated these pastors seemed to be. It was not just that they didn’t feel safe sharing their doubts with anyone in their congregations or with other clergy, but that seemed not to have authentic relationships with other pastors. Perhaps that is a function of the competitiveness that has infected so many churches, or perhaps these pastors were in settings that defined Christianity so tightly that exploring and wrestling were forbidden.

I am thankful for clergy colleagues with whom I have been able to have real and transparent conversations. It’s not so much getting answers as it is knowing I am not alone. My suspicion is that pastors like those in the ABC news feature are trying to do the impossible: guide God’s people on their own. When pastors are viewed as entrepreneurs running businesses, the isolation is necessarily harmful to faith.

While I wouldn’t make myself the subject of my preaching or pastoral prayers, I have tried to be honest about my struggles with the congregations I have served. I actually think that has helped many people hang onto Christ in the midst of their dark doubts, knowing that their pastor has wrestled with similar issues. The New Testament is totally clear that faith is nurtured in community. It is not good to be alone! (Genesis 2:18)